21 March 2010
2...3....7
26/03/10 03:27
Friday, March 26, 2010
| 237 ... so the weird thing about being single again is that you have no one to answer to when you finish a gig and come home at two in the morning drunk and ridiculous... ... so you can write whatever the fuck you want to write and expect no repercussions (I'm realistic enough to know that that's not completely true... but you get what I'm saying)... ... and so the music goes on and I begin to write... ... the days are a fucking mess now... " it is what it is"... if I hear that or say that one more time I'm gonna pull my own head off and toss it into the ocean... ... it is not what it is... it is nothing... this is nothing... this is everything... this is just a fucking drag.... is what it is... .... good times... K & GT... for anyone that knows me... which I believe are very few now... so if you know about K & GT- give me a call... although... the last time I was in Barbados (which was probably the last time I had K & GT's!) my phone got stolen out of my room... so if you call then I probably won't answer cuz I can barely deal with reality at the moment ... let alone a strange phone number...! ... just switched the music to jazz... cuz Matisyahu was making me think too much... now instead Bill Evans... Here's that rainy day.... ... and I couldn't think of a better tune... cuz yes... let's give it for them rainy days!!!! and while we are at it... let's give it up for those fucking messes who write 'round midnite' and also at 2:24am... and also at 2:37--- the only reason I feel like mentioningit is cuz I've become obsessed with it... in the afternoon and in the middle of the night... cuz 237 was my number in basic training (Army)... and although I can't remember the other correlations that it used to have... I now know that 237 will somehow have an impact on my life.... not sure how yet... but it seems like anytime I notice the clock it has those numbers on it... ... now I'm feeling like a mental patient putting this out there... cuz there's been other shit that had 237 but I can't think of it at themoment... ... anyway... 237 matters to me... not sure how yet... I keep thinking of that Mel Gibson movie (and Joaquin Pheonix)... the one about aliens... can't remember the name... when all the shit that they've gone through in their lives suddenly comes clear at this critical moment in their lives... and it helps them defeat the aliens... ... so I keep thinking 237 is gonna save me... or help me... at some moment in my life... ... not sure how or why... but I have faith... ... lately I have so little faith... ... but now... "Autumn Leaves" is playing... and Miles Davis is playing... and I am writing... and I am connected for a fraction of something... to these things... the song,.. the players... the I.... ... I am smoking a joint that Bill snuck me in a handshake... ... as a tip I guess... ... can't complain about a tip like that;) ... but it doesn't stop me from being sad aboudit... not the tip... just the "aboudit" ... cuz not sure if anyone knows "aboudit" anymore... ... it used to be funny... now I feel sad saying it... .... anyway... I'm drunk and it's now 2:47 and I missed my opportunity... for whatever was sposed to happen to happen... now I will wait for the next 237... ... I spent the day breaking apart and painting the remnants of Stephanie and Bob... ... and I will only say this... I wish I was able to truly capture the moment I am trying to capture on this canvas... ... cuz the beauty of Bella and Bob... deserves to be seen... ... and "take 5" by dave brubeck kicks on ... and the night suddenly seems lonely and wasteful... ... but I am hopefull... slightly;) ... but still so fucking sad aboudit!............... |